The Choice, Part 2 (The First Choice)

  *This post is part 2 of a previous blog post titled "The Choice".  I've found lately that I have a whole lot of things to say about my husband. I find myself more and more in love with him everyday. Enjoy!

 I remember the day I came home with my engagement ring. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I knew with all of my heart that Daniel was the one I wanted to marry and be with for the rest of my life.

My mom, who always tried her best to keep my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds, asked me, "Are you sure he's the one? Can't you wait until after college? If he's the one, then why can't you wait until after college? Won't he still be "the one" when you graduate?"

"I don't want to wait mom. I want him now. I don't want to wait. I don't want to spend another day without belonging to him." I replied.

We married less than six months later...

There came a point shortly after our marriage began that the fairytale seemed to have ended.  I found myself feeling as though I couldn't trust him, and that the choice I had made to love him had been the wrong one. I found my heart wandering restlessly. I began to wonder what might happen if one or both of us chose to not be together any longer.  I felt a million miles away from him, and there were days when I felt I didn't even know him at all. But worst of all, I felt I was losing my best friend.

When it all came down to it...I closed my eyes and imagined myself  standing on a mountain top with the sky above me and ocean below. I imagined God standing there right beside me and he asked, "What do you need my child?"
"I need to know what the choice should be. Loving him is so frustrating and hard to do. What if I choose to love him, and he chooses not to love me back?"
To my surprise, God said, "You just love him like you promised to do on December 13, 2003, and I'll be sure to take care of the rest."
That was the day I made my first "CONSCIOUS"  choice.  I couldn't control the choice Daniel was going to make, but I could choose to keep my promise to him. To love him, and honor him, in spite of  what we were facing.

No one likes to feel rejected. I wanted very much to protect myself from that. I wanted not to be the one who laid it all on the line regardless of the outcome.  I prayed long and hard, and finally found the words to say to the man I knew I loved.  I remember standing in front of him that hot July day.  I looked into his eyes, and asked him if he still loved me.  His answer wasn't a long drawn out speech.  There was no profound show stopping answer. But he said exactly what I needed to hear.  "I will always love you."
Exactly one week later, we found out we were pregnant with Caleb. Funny how God works sometimes, huh?

Time and prayer has brought us closer since that day. Marrying young was hard, but it wasn't impossible.  I find new reasons to love him every single day. This was my choice...and I will never regret it. 

One of my favorite quotes

“I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.”
― Shana Abé