A Midst The Thorns....(Getting to Know the Love of Christ)

When I was a little girl, I learned that you should FEAR God.  It was in ever sermon I had ever heard.  It could have been because the Lord was preparing me to accept salvation, or it could have been that I just paid more attention to that one thing.  In any case, it seemed that although I had completely grasped the concept of a wrathful and chastising God...I simply missed the most important thing that God gives us.  His Love...

When I was 9 years old, I came to my mother after a church service during which hell was made real to me. I was so scare of dying that night.  There, at my parents bedside, I asked Jesus to save me.  From that day on, I tried my very best to serve him, but I never got to KNOW him.  Every time I would make a mistake in my life I would think, "Oh, Lord, Please forgive me....I don't want anything bad to happen to me."  I had this image of God in my head.  This huge being who watched and waited for you to screw up, so he could "LAY THE SMACK DOWN".

Now, don't get me wrong.  I understand that we are to fear God, and that fearing God brings an obedience and trust in him.  But that fear that we always speak of is more of a respect that we should have for him.  Because of my fear of God, I never really came to know the LOVE of God.

So every time something would go wrong in my life, I would feel like I was being punished for something I had done wrong.  My first and second miscarriages, my infertility, and then just when things seemed to get better, my dad got sick...and then passed away.  In all these things, it would have seemed that I would have drawn closer to the Lord.  But sadly, instead I went farther from him.  Until finally, one day, I looked around to find that I was lost.  No, I wasn't "lost" as in "not saved"...I was that lamb who'd gone far away from the fold.  And there I sat a midst the thorns, high on the edge of a cliff, with no place to go.

Now class, does anyone know what happens to a lamb who is lost a midst the thorns with no place else to turn?  Well, they begin to holler for their shepherd  "Bah...Bah...Bah!"

So, that's what I did...I began to cry out, "Jesus! Please help me.  I'm lost and can't find my way. I'm scared and I'm angry and I'm broken...and I need something."  And he spoke to me...
And he picked me up, and he told me this. " No matter how far you travel from me, I will always be just a call away."

Since that day, I've been getting to know the LOVE of God. Inthe process, I've found a new love for HIM  and myself and for others. My spiritual strength has begun to grow. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I know, that the next time I find myself a midst the thorns, all I have to do is cry out to Jesus, and he will rescue me...because he loves me.  Yes, we should fear God....yes, we should strive to be like him...but when we fail, (and we will) he will be more likely to reach down to comfort us than he will be to smack us up side the head and toss us out on our keesters....because he loves us.

He never said this life would be easy, but he did say that he would be here to help carry the burden.  I'm so glad he loves me, and friend, he loves you too....even a midst the thorns.