In All My Thankfulness...

Thanksgiving is not what it used to be.  When I was a little girl, you cooked, you ate, and then you lay stuffed like the turkey you'd just devoured.  You spent time with family.  You watched the parade.  And then, you put up the Christmas tree. This day was about family.

Don't get me wrong, I understand the need to save money, but I almost refuse to buy something that comes from a store that's on sale simply because it's supposed to save me money.  I mean who really needs a television every year? And what child really needs so many toys that we have to fist fight in order to get it. I guarantee you my friend, that toy will be bountiful on said child's birthday.

Thanksgiving has been eclipsed by Christmas.  Why?

We scramble around trying to find the perfect gifts for the perfect people in our lives.  But on this Thanksgiving day, are we really spending time with them?  I mean really?  It's not about the sales ya'll.  It's not about the food.  It's about remembering why we are here.  It's about remembering the reasons we love.  It would be loads less stressful if we could just show the people we love them by spending time with them, rather than rushing around trying to buy them a perfect gift for a holiday that hasn't even got here yet.

Today I am going to choose to just be thankful.
I'm thankful to know the love of Jesus, and his comforting hand in times of trouble.
I'm thankful for my mom and dad.  Without them, I wouldn't exist.  And further more, without them, I wouldn't know the love of Jesus, or how to make a marriage work.
I'm thankful for my husband, who absolutely snuck up on me.  And I am so glad he's mine.
I'm thankful for my children.  There was a time when I didn't even think I would meet them, and now they're here. And they are perfect with all their imperfections.
I'm thankful for my step dad, who brought my mom out of the dark.  I will forever be grateful.
I'm thankful for my in-laws.  There are times when I actually feel like a daughter instead of a daughter in law.  You have always been there for me. To help with the kids. To help with anything we need.  I will never forget the kindness and love you showed to me when my dad passed. I love you both.
I'm thankful for my close friendships. There are women in my life  that I can go to any time I need to talk, and I know they will understand. And that makes me feel incredibly blessed.
This just names a few.  I could go on all day, for whom and what I am thankful.  It makes my heart happy to to list all of the reasons I'm thankful.  And it's not a happiness that can be bought in a store.  So, my friend, just exactly what...or who...are you thankful for??

Being a Mom...

Some days being a mom is easy...fun...incredibly rewarding.  You get to lick the beaters while the cake bakes, and the bowl, and the icing spoon (and you get to share with your best friends in the world...your kids)  You get to play with water guns in the house.  You get to watch cartoons and play couch potato on Saturday mornings, and stay up late on Friday nights.  Being a mom can be fun.

Some days being a mom is rewarding.  When your child says "Momma" for the very first time.  When he or she calls you back into their room after bed time just to say, "I love you". Or when they write their name in bright green marker on your pretty white trim, but all you can see is that they wrote their name.  Being a mom, is rewarding.

But some times, and more often than not, being a mom...is hard.  

It's hard when you walk your child into a room full of strangers, and hand him or her off to them.  It's hard to smile at them and tell them they will be fine, and you will see them soon. Making the decisions that are right for your child, even when you know that that decision might cause them pain...is hard.  It's the worst part of being a parent that I have ever encountered.

When I spent those 2 years struggling to conceive a child...it never once crossed my mind how hard it would be.  All I could see in that moment, was the second that I laid eyes on my child.  All I could think of, was that my life was not complete without my children....one boy and one girl...  I didn't know it would be this hard. And it is, EXACTLY as hard as your momma told you it would be.  And it is as scary as your dad said it would be.  And it is as expensive and exhausting and draining as EVERY ONE warned you it would be.  Being. A. MOM. Is. HARD.....

But it is absolutely the only job I will ever care about doing as long as I live.  And it is without a doubt the most fun time I will ever have.  And it is hands down the best decision I've ever made in my entire life.  (Even above marrying my husband, who by the way feels the exact same way, I'm sure) So, on this day, when my child is in so much pain.  On this day, when I am terrified to close my eyes because they might need me.  I remember that this is the job that I signed up for, and this is the life that I asked for.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Being a mom is EVERYTHING. 

Welcome Back Kotter

It's been a good 3 months since I've even looked at my blog.  It's not that I've been avoiding it, it's just that...well, I've been avoiding it. I've been having a time.  Caleb started school in August, and since then has had 3 bouts of Strep.  His tonsils and adenoids are to be remove this Tuesday.  So hopefully he will feel better soon.

The doctors are very concerned in the drop in my energy level, and coincidentally my white blood count. So, for the last few weeks I've been poked and prodded and re poked whenever they see fit.  They've determined anemia, but they have "further testing" they want to do to make sure it's nothing more.  I just want  to "want" to shower. But most days I just opt for bath so I don't have to stand.

I'm also extremely grumpy of late.  Home life gets to you when don't really have the energy to do anything more than walk to the kitchen and back to the couch.  Even my job is a task.  I think, "Why does this stupid time clock have to be so darn far away."  I love my job, but if I could do it while sleeping, I would like it much more.

 Carley has turned into Oscar the Grouch lately, and while it's a little cute at times, mostly it's just annoying.  My two year old tells me what shoes she will wear, what she will eat, what she will not eat, etc. And whenever she gets in trouble she just smiles her sweet smile and says, "I not do nothing, it Caleb."  Yeah, I know, cute huh?



So anyway, I kind of turned into a robot.  Get up, drop kids at school and babysitter, go to work, eat, go home, bathe the kids, put kids in the bed, sleep, wake up and repeat the next day.  And then tonight after picking up my kids from their grandparents' house we were driving home, Caleb from the back seat says, "Hey, mom look at those Christmas lights."  (He was speaking of the lights in the town square.)
Then Carley says, "Aw pretty Momma."

And it reminded me, that no matter how hectic life gets, we should always take time to enjoy the little things in life. Even if it is just Christmas lights.  So we took a detour.  In an abandoned town square my children and I rolled down the windows and cranked up the heater and enjoyed the Christmas lights.  Oddly enough, the Welcome Back Kotter theme song popped into my head right at that time.  I guess it was my subconscious way of telling me I needed to snap out of this fog. And all it took was two little babies, and some twinkling lights.

Enjoy the little things...they are gone far too quickly.



Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back! :~)