Monday, July 30, 2012

What I've Learned...My Cup Runneth Over Part 2 (Into the Light)

Slowly, I began to realize that no matter how mad I was, or how angry...HE wasn't going anywhere.  When I realized that, it began to chip away at my heart. He began putting people in my path that reminded me that he hadn't left me, including my children.

I wrote a blog a few months ago, about my dad and how hard I was trying to accept the loss.  Upon writing it, (almost immediately) I received a phone call from someone that I've always looked up to.  She was inviting me to speak at a local ladies' conference.  She said God told her I had something to say.  My mind said no, but my mouth and heart said yes. And another chip fell from my heart. And I prayed, and then I picked up my bible.

A few days later, one of my best friends called to tell me that the Lord had saved her. Although I was happy for her...because I wasn't where I needed to be with HIM, I couldn't truly rejoice.  So I went home and cried out to God.  "Please God, help me.  I'm ready to talk.  Don't hide from me."  Almost immediately a bible passage popped into my head.  "Those who seek me, shall find me."

Just after that, a friend from church called to ask me if she could take my kids to bible school.  It convicted me.  I knew that I should be the one taking my kids to bible school.  I knew that I wasn't doing my job.  And another chip fell. But this friend...she encouraged me.  She took my kids on the nights that I worked and then encouraged me to come when I could.  And while I was there, not one person said anything about my absence in the last few months.  But they did tell me how good it was to see me and my children.  And another chip fell.

So the next Sunday that I didn't work, I got my kids up and we went down the road to that little church.  The whole way I prayed..."Lord, please please please don't let my kids embarrass me."  We sat through the entire service, and they were wild and crazy kids....but you know what. No one said a word, except how great it was that we were there.  So that night, I went again.  This time, it wasn't so bad. The kids were just a little bit rowdy.  

It was just enough for me to hear Preacher Jeff speak about how important it is to raise your family in church.  And all of the sudden...there he was.  Sitting next to me, "well, are you ready?" 

I'm telling you right now. If I could have RAN to that alter at that second I would have.  (Actually, I probably could have except I wasn't sure if they would think I was crazy or not) When the alter call was given, though, I did go.  And the rest of the pieces just fell away.

That was the day I learned this:

The devil will do his best to not only alienate you from God, but also from your church family.  Your church family is there for you to lean on when you need it.  They are there to help you, and encourage you.  You just have to be humble enough to ask for help when it's needed.  

And God, is there even when you can't feel him.  He never leaves us.  

Since that exact moment...my cup has been over flowing.  God has opened doors to me, and I can see now so clearly His hand guiding me where I thought I was alone.  I am not alone.  I am so far from alone.  And I don't care who knows...I am gonna make sure that from now on, my life is a model for my children and my heart is a home for my Saviour.  


2 comments:

  1. I like this a lot and can relate to parts of it. You're right: a voice that tries to talk one into forsaking the fellowship of believers isn't the Lord. That's not to say there aren't reasons to switch churches, but those should be prayed over very hard, and one should never avoid church, altogether. Even recently, though, I've heard that voice. The enemy knows that I hate feeling judged, and I've received innocent comments from my church family as indicative of judgment; they weren't. And I've struggled w/ the church (at large) in terms of how it's reflected in the blogosphere and through social media. Maybe that's when it's time to step away and return to the primary source of God's Word. I'm glad you're back in church. I'm sure it's challenging w/ the kids and no nursery, but there's a beauty in that way of thinking.

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  2. I love the quote "Problem look how big my God is!" Wow, our God is so big and capable! It is amazing that He knows how to orchestrate things and people in our paths to help, encourage and pray with. Love you girl. Need those registrations this week, please.

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