"NO! Mommy! They Might Keep ME!!!

So Monday, my mom and I took Caleb and Carley on their first visit to the zoo.  This trip was the most fun I've had with my mom in a long time.  Ofcourse, wherever my son Caleb is, a lot of laughing is sure to follow. 

Now ever since Caleb has been little, his daddy and I always referred to him as our "little monkey".  If you know Caleb you know that this nickname fits him well. He keeps us laughing every single day.  He makes everything a game, and some days all I do is laugh at him. Sometimes it makes it very hard to discipline him, because even when he is in trouble, he in hilarious.

This particular morning was no exception. I was so excited to take them on their first zoo trip that I simply could not wait for him to wake up, so I tiptoed into his room to wake him.

"Caleb," I whispered. "Wake up, buddy. Today's the day we're gonna go to the zoo."
"Huh?" Caleb said with a sleepy yawn.
"You wanna go to the zoo today?" I asked.
And with eyes still closed as he stretched and yawned he said (matter of factly), "Nah, they might keep me."

After much laughter, I informed Caleb that the zoo could not keep him because eventhough daddy called him a monkey, he was actually only a little boy. This didn't stop him from acting a little uneasy as we made our way through the zoo exhibits. After each animal that we saw he would aske, "Can we go now mom?"
When we finally made it to the monkeys he became excited and laughed and jumped up and down..."Look Mommy, that monkey (Who was actually a gorilla) is eating lunch like me. He's eating an apple Mommy!!!"

"Yep, he sure is!" I replied.
As we walked on, I heard Caleb as my mom, "Can we leave now? I'm done."
"Don't you wanna see the rest?" I asked him.
"NO! MOMMY! They might keep me!"

HILARIOUS!!!  I love my kid!



Storms....

Thunder, you are my lullaby.
You sing to me, in the night.
Rumble, rumble,
Grumble grumble,
go to sleep, go to sleep,
rest peacefully in your dreams."

Lightning, you are my night light.
You light my room,
You dance between the clouds.
You chase away my demons.
A great friend in you I've found.

Rain...old pouring rain.
I've missed you most of all.
Pitter Patting
Swooshing, swashing
Down and down you fall.
Washing all the day away.
Bringing beauty in morning light,
Making colors ever bright.
And yet I wish you'd stay.

Time is NOT on our side.

So last night for the first time since our youngest has been born, Daniel and I took the evening off to go on a date.  (Thanks to my mom) We found ourselves on Market Square in downtown Knoxville with some friends.  We had an exceptionally wonderful time. It almost reminded me of our high school days. Which got my mind working, and wondering about the past and now.

I remember times when he and I were younger, that we just couldn't get enough of each other. Sometimes our relationship was more love than hate, and sometimes it was more hate than love. Nowadays, it's more part time love than anything. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that 17 year old boy and girl and tell them what I know now. And what I would say to them is this.

SLOW DOWN!!! You have so much time to be young and in love. Everything that you want will come to you in time, I Promise. Hide away in your love. Kiss each other longer, hug each other tighter, and shut out the whole world when you can.  Because soon there will come a day when the only time your lips meet are when you are about to say goodbye. Soon work will rule your lives along with worry.  Children will be your priority in front of one another, they will consume you. And you will lose who you are together if you aren't careful.  Take the time to remember who you were when your love was new. And make it equally exciting if you can...when you can. Never stop telling each other that you love each other. Oh...and for goodness sakes, make love and not war!

Time goes by so very fast. And it seems that the older we get, the more time flies. I just want to scream "Stop!!!, i need more time!!!" It's cruel and unforgiving. You don't get it back so use it wisely, because no matter what we would like to think....time is NOT on our side!!!!

Happy Birthday Grammy!

We love our Grammy!

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. She has no idea how special she is to me. I still need her guidance. I still want her comfort when I am sick. She is strong and wise. She is me...20 years from now.

She loves her grandchildren. And they return her love times a thousand. She works hard, and loves harder. She is my friend.

I can never put into words the respect I found for her on the day my dad passed away.  As I sat there silent, unable to say my goodbyes. She spoke for us both, she said the words I needed to say. She stayed strong for me. A pillar of strength, never to be shaken.

She has shook her fist in the face of the devil, and commanded him to leave in Jesus name.  She has fallen on her face in her room and cried out to God to guide her and answer her prayer. She has forgiven, when I feel i could not have done so. She has kept going, when I believe I would have quit.

No one loves us as much as God does. But the only person who loves us as much...Is our mom.

She is my friend.

Thanks Mom.

Who Do We Think We Are Anyway?

Today as I am kind of...annoyed? I feel disappointed about something in my life and it has brought me to this thought.

Today's inconvenience has caused me to wonder if maybe this changing world has brought us to a more careless way of doing things. We treat our neighbors as though we hardly know them. We treat our friends as acquaintances, and we treat our family like distant friends. We have no time for visits. We don't visit any longer. We hardly take the time to care about a single other person besides ourselves. I am equally guilty of this trait.

I go along with most days, and the only other people I worry for are my children and husband.  I was completely content in this until late last evening when a friend came calling for a favour.
She wanted me to speak with a friend of hers who was experiencing the same pregnancy problems as me.

Why not? I thought to myself. So I messaged her with some of the things that I had dealt with, and we talked back and forth on line for a little while. I felt really good about what I had done. Then after I had gone to bed that night, I found it hard to rest. For, I worried for this woman as if I had known her all of my life. As if she were a close friend, going through a trial, and I very much needed to be a friend to her. But I don't even know her...just her familiar circumstance.

Then God spoke to me and said..."She is your sister. It is your obligation to help her."
I lay there that night and sobbed into my pillow, and prayed for my sister.
This morning she messaged me with an update, and I answered that I was praying and to take it easy.
I think she knows she has a long way to go, but I hope she doesn't feel alone. For I will walk with her, and I will pray with her. My new found friend, my sister in Christ.

She has no idea that her circumstance has helped me be a little less selfish. We should all be such. Shame on me for ever thinking otherwise.

The Girl Can't Help It...

"Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that."
— Nicholas Sparks (Message in a Bottle)

When I was a little girl, I spent most of my free time writing.  I wrote poetry, short stories, songs, and letters.  Anytime I felt like I needed to put my feelings into words, all I needed was a pencil and piece of paper. I even entered a poetry contest once, and was published in a book. At a very young age I decided that someday i wanted to be a writer.

There were days that I would stay in my room, and only emerge when my mother called me out for dinner.  "What have you been doing there all day?" She would ask.
"Nothin'," I'd reply. "Just writin'."
"What about?" She'd ask.
"Nothin'." I'd smile.

The truth was, I was filling notebooks full of anything and everything. Writing and rewriting, thinking and rethinking, and then rewriting again. Scribbling different thoughts down, and then crossing them out and tossing them in the trash. Crying. Laughing. Developing characters, and then living out there adventures in my mind. In my room, on paper, I could be whomever, go wherever, do whatever. I was free.

Like most ambitions, mine took a backseat to other things in my life. School. The prospect of going to college. Getting married. Having children. Work. Being a mother. This list goes on and on and on.......
I'd all but forgotten my long lost hobby, until one day I stumbled upon a story that my eighth grade self had written, in the back of my closet.  It was exactly as I had left it, a three subject notebook filled front to back. That day, sitting in the floor of my closet, I rediscovered a part of me that I had long since forgotten.

At that point I realized, this was something I still wanted to do. My life's ambition was not putting screws and nosepads on glasses. That was okay for a job, but I wanted to do something much more. Ofcourse, now, there are other things to think of. I haven't taken an english class since my first year of college, and I'm sure even then my writing skills were less than stellar. I also have no idea where to begin to write an actual novel, because I'm pretty sure I would spend more time trying to get my thoughts straight than actually writing. So, I began to write these little notes on facebook. Then finally, I stole the blog idea from a friend.  I mean, who is actually gonna read a blog about a part time optician, part time mom, full time wife? Well, not many, but, I have found that I enjoy it very much. For the first time in a while, I actually feel like myself again.

Maybe somday, I will learn how to write a novel. Maybe I'll take a creative writing class at Roane State, and someday I will give my characters life. Someday, maybe my words will jump off of a page into someones imagination just like Nicholous Sparks' characters do for me. Maybe someday, my words will reach thousands. Today, however, I will just have to settle for my blog followers and facebook friends.