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| This Picture reminds me so much of my dad. They both look just like him here. |
So tomorrow is my Daddy's birthday. This year also marks the second year of his death. I have to say though, that I find it harder and harder each day to be sad when I think about him. Maybe I have become numb to the fact that he's gone...OR maybe the good memories of him are too great to be sad for the time we shared. I see him in my children each and every day, and I know somehow he sees them even now. And even now, he's so very proud of the people they will someday grow up to be.
Caleb, my oldest, was only 1 year old when he died. I find myself wishing that he could remember my dad so that we could share our love for him. I do know, that God had it planned this way, even though I don't understand it.
I feel that a certain part of me could not exist until I experienced the loss of my dad. For some reason, even though it sounds strange, I feel as though I am now a better wife, mother, daughter, friend. Until that time, I had never truly experienced loss. And that loss triggered this growth in me somehow. It caused me to stop and look around. I became more sensitive to my surroundings, and I began to cherish just how precious life was.
So now, standing on the other side, I can see a path that can only lead to me being who i was always meant to be. So it seems hard to feel sorry that my dad in the very end, was able to help teach me one last lesson, and to help me let him go so that I could be a better mom to my own little family.
I will see him someday soon, I'm sure. But until then It's not goodbye, only farewell.
This Song's for you Daddy...
The Landslide
By Fleetwood Mac
I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain then I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
But the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky "What is love?"
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I Sale through the changing ocean's tide?
Can I handle the season's of my life?
I don't know.
Well, I've been afraid of changing
Cause I've built my life around you,
But time makes you bolder,
Children Get older
I'm getting older too.
I'm getting older too.
Happy Birthday Daddy. Birthdays in heaven must be pretty cool.
I love that song and think of my dad, too, when it plays. It was so cute how my dad looked at Carley at Christmastime and said: "That baby looks just like Larry." She does, too. I think both of your kids look like you (sorry to Daniel), but I think Caleb looks more like your mom and Carley more like your dad. Beautiful kids. I love it that Carley has your dad's ear. That might be my favorite thing about her physical appearance. We were all so lucky to have your dad. I miss him, too, because--no matter how long it had been since I'd seen him--I could always tell he loved me.
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