Slow Down!

So every morning when I go to work, Caleb and I go through the same routine. I put the baby in the car seat. We put our shoes on, and we are out the door. Since he was old enough to walk by himself, Caleb has always followed behind me on our way to the car. But for the last two weeks he has started walking ahead of me instead. The first morning he just walked a few steps ahead. Then the next day a little further. But the next day he was almost to the driveway before I even started off of our porch.
"Caleb, Slow down son, you might fall and get hurt." I yelled after him.
He obeyed, and stopped to wait for me.
But the next day he ran even further and when I asked him to stop, he exclaimed, "It's okay mommy. I'm not scared!"
This morning though, as we stepped onto the porch Caleb informed me that his shoe was untied. He sat down on the step to wait for me. So I took the baby to the car, and went back to get him.  I tied his shoe, helped him down the steps, and instinctively held his hand as we walked to the car. But Caleb, with all his might tried to pull away.
"I want to run mommy! Let me go!" He yelled.
"No, Caleb, we can't run. It's dangerous, mommy's scared that you'll fall."
"But If I fall, won't you catch me?" He asked.
After a long, long pause, and swallowing the feeling of wanting to cry..."Yes, Caleb, mommy will always catch you."

So that got me to thinking.  For the rest of Caleb's life. I am constantly gonna be asking him to slow down. He is gonna be growing and becoming more independent every single day.  Every single day he's gonna need me a little less. Every day I'm gonna wish with all my heart to stop time, to keep him my sweet boy forever.
But time will not stand still, and though he'll always love me, and I will always be his momma. There will come a day when he no longer needs me.
I'm sure even then I'll be yelling for him to SLOW DOWN!
But I'm sure, even then, he will just turn to me and say, "It's okay mom, I'm not scared, Let me go."

So I'm gonna just savor this moment while I can even if I have to do it from far behind him.
And when I hear this song, I'll always think of him.

You'll Always Be My Baby.
Sara Evans

There he is, my little man,
I'm sure he'll get in trouble every now and then.
And I pray to God, that when he does,
I'll be just as understanding as my father was.

Cause the last thing that I wanna do,
is let him down
So instead of being angry
I'm gonna throw my arms around him
And I'll say.

In the sunlight or the rain, brightest nights or darkest days
I'll always feel the same way whatever road you may be on
No your never too far gone
My love is there wherever you may be
Just remember that you will always be my baby be my baby