And So It Begins...

So I've resolved to lose 100 pounds in a year.  That's almost 2 pounds a week for 52 weeks.  My weight has always been a problem.  Even when it wasn't as out of control as it is currently...even when it didn't seem to dawn on others...I knew...I was overweight.

I began gaining weight steadily the year I graduated college. It was also the same year I had my first miscarriage.  I could "say" that that affected me.  That I became depressed, and all that mumbo jumbo. If I said that I'd be lying.  Yes, that probably didn't help much.  The truth is...I got lazy...unfocused.  I had other things on my mind, and well, I dropped the ball.

Most of the time, when I tell someone what I way, they look at me in shock as if I've just punched them in the gut.  Then they frown and say, "No way".  But I know the truth, and sometimes kids, the truth hurts.  I have been up and down between two different outrageous numbers for the last year.  (And those numbers won't be posted on here for my own sanity, thank you)

Lately, I've been feeling my mortality just a little.  I have two babies to think of, and well I don't wanna leave them when they are barely adults like my dad left me.

It's all about work you know, losing weight. It's about work and determination and numbers. You can't do it if you don't really want to.  Do I?  Really want to? Boy, I sure hope so.  Otherwise, I'm wasting my time.

I am really... trying for the faces in the pictures in my posts...I'm trying...they are my life, and they need me at my best.

So far I've lost 5 pounds.  Not too shabby for my first week, huh. Pray for me ya'll, I need it badly.