The Promise

Carley, Caleb, and their cousin Elijah.



Two years ago today, God blessed me in a big way. I found out that I was gonna have a second bundle of joy to add to my family. This came as a huge surprise to me, because I had been told by several doctors after Caleb was born that he might be my only.  It took great prayer, fasting, and just plain hard work to get him here, and it was highly unlikely that we would be so lucky a second time, and even if we were so lucky I may not be able to carry the baby to term. 

After being told this, I set out to be happy with my tiny little family.  In the mean time my dad became ill, and it became hard to even imagine another child with everything that was happening at that time. Then dad passed on in May, and we mourned our loss, myself especially.  I cried and prayed and screamed and yelled and cried some more. For two solid months I cried myself to sleep every single night.  Then this August morning exactly two years ago, God nudged me as if to say to my heart in that still small voice of his, "Stacey, it's time to come out of the dark. Your dad is with me now, he is happy. It's time you got back to raising your family. Let this be well with your soul."

Now, I don't know about you, but it's very hard for me to let anything be well with MY soul.  It just doesn't come natural to me to put everything in the Master's hands and leave it there. I kneel down, lay my burden down, pray about it, and most of the time when I'm through I pick it right back up and take it with me.  But on this day two years ago, I said to God, "How? How are you going to bring me out of the dark?"  That morning, I drove Caleb to the babysitter, and then myself to work. I was so frantic, because the next morning we were supposed to leave for the beach. I was racing, racing, racing everywhere. I barely made it to work before I became overwhelmingly nauseated. And with a little nudging from a co-worker, and even more nudging from God, I found myself in the grocery line with an EPT in my hand. 

That day, I realized, I had come full circle.  I began my journey with a desire for a child that almost broke my heart. And God not only answered my prayer once, but with TWO little blessings. And just as my dad was leaving us, God gave us a fresh new face to love. 

God has never ceased to prove himself to me.  He has always known what is best for me, in spite of what I think that may be. And in the midst of the darkness, he shines the light.  He loves me more than I deserve, and I am so glad I have that promise that he will never leave me. Knowing this, I am sure I will never be alone. What a blessing to know, that nomatter what our lives throw at us, we have a friend that will never die, never leave us, always have time for us, and always care for us.