Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Ride in the Car with Daniel...

Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;'

-William Shakespeare--


---We're riding in the car.  It's the first evening we've spent alone since our son was born. We've gone so quickly from being a couple of young kids with our own ideas and plans for our lives, to two people who now walk a single path. Sometimes the path is rocky, and sometimes it's smooth.  Sometimes we travel a great distance, and sometimes we stand in the same place for a while, one waiting for the other to move.  Mostly he waits patiently for me to move. But we've both learned with time, that the importance of the path is that it is traveled together. 

I think, as I glance over at him, how he's changed so much since the first time we road in a car like this together.  I see it  looking back now.  I didn't have a chance back then.  Not even for a second. I was his from the moment he shook my father's hand and said, "I'll have her home by 10, sir."  He wasn't even scared. 

We were young.  Very young....and the odds weren't in our favor.  Not many young kids can make a marriage last.  Our parents were terrified for us.  Perhaps because they knew that we still had a lot of growing to do, and that that meant we would most likely change.  And that meant, that we might become different people along the way, and that someday we might wake up strangers.  

It's true though.  We did change.  We've seen hard times, heart aches, births, deaths, disappointment....but the one thing that hasn't changed...is our love for one another.  People change...life changes...circumstances change....and love remains the same.  It is an ever fixed mark, that looks on tempests and is never shaken.

We ride in silence now, down the road...in our car...him holding my hand.  I am content in knowing that our silence is comfortable and familiar, and it feels just like home.  



Thursday, February 7, 2013

How I Learned To Believe

(Linking up with Imperfect Prose today.  This is only the second time doing so.  I thought it was time to test my writing out on someone besides my little facebook family. Be gentle.)

Their are two kinds of people in the world.  Believers and non-believers.  You can become a believer, but you can never become a non believer.  Once you first believe in something, you don't have a choice to do anything else.


I became a believer when I was nine years old.  The first thing I ever believed in...I mean TRULY believed in...was Jesus.  After that, it wasn't hard to find something to believe in.  What was hard was to keep believing even when things looked dim.  I have lost people in my life, and saw things in my life that has shook my belief to the very core.

I've lost friendships that I thought would last forever. But, I happen to have some of the best friends that anyone could possibly ask for.

At a very young age,  I was told after two miscarriages, that I might never have children.  But, at night I'm rocked to sleep by the gentle breathing and snoring of not one but two brown eyed miracles who look a mixture of their daddy and me.  And I awaken to soft voices whispering, "Mommy, can we get up now?"

My dad passed away from cancer when I was twenty four, sending me deep down in the gutter of a darkness that I never want to ever revisit again. But I am reminded daily, that I have a heavenly father who hears my every prayer.

My belief gets shaken when I and those that I love are attacked because what we believe threatens others and what they stand for.  I feel afraid when I am told that my belief brings hatred and alienates those who aren't like me. I believe that we all are different and believe differently ,and yet love can still exist between us all.

My belief is shaken when I hear of men and women who kill in the name of a God that they do not know.  Or when a man walks into a school full of children and opens fire.  Or a movie theater.   Or a public office building....But I still believe that there are good people left in this world.

I still believe.

I Believe that Christ can make anyone a true believer.  I believe there is light within every darkness.  I believe that in all things God is in control.  I still believe that prayer and hope can cure cancer.  I believe that even the greatest doctors can be proven wrong.  And I believe that even the most wretched sinner can be saved.  I believe that I can do all things, through Christ.  And my belief keeps me going.  It is the only thing that can not be taken from me.  Because no matter what, I believe.