I Got The Music In Me...

Aside from being a wife and mother, there is nothing that I have been more passionate about than music.  However, since we left the last church we belonged to and my daddy died, it seemed the music had left me.  You couldn't understand this unless you were a person who didn't just listen to music, but felt it in your soul.

 Music is in every aspect of my whole life.  It's in my daughters laugh, my son's games, my husband's smile.  Music hides in the trenches of the worst days I ever had.  It comforts me when I am weary.  I hear it in the rain and thunder, in the morning just before dawn, in the evening when all is still, and children sleep sound in their beds. 

Music is there when we are born. It follows us through life. It's there in the end . It was there when I walked down the aisle to my new life with my husband.  And then again when we welcomed our children into our world together. It was there with my mother and I, the evening we said goodbye to my dad.

In all of my life, my ups and downs, music has been the one constant. It's never changing. There is a song for every single feeling that I feel. It is in every crack and crevice of my being. It consumes me. But... For about a half beat.....I seemed to have lost it all.

The thing about a song, though. There is always a dramatic rest right before the best part. Sometimes the song takes a sad turn and all seems to be lost.... And then the DRUMS SOUND and the guitar plays, and the orchestra joins in...It's trimphant, victorious, and it leaves you breathless.  Kind of like life. It hurts sometimes, but we always get through to the ending.

This Song is my battle cry. When the devil gets me down, and tries to steel my song. I sing this song and know that Jesus, my voice of truth will take care of me. He will carry me to the end.


Voice Of Truth lyricsSongwriters: Hall, Mark; Casting Crowns;

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
On to the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed

The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win!
You'll never win!"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I would choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone

Surrounded by the sound
Of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed

The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again
"Boy you'll never win!
You'll never win!"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.

Slow Down!

So every morning when I go to work, Caleb and I go through the same routine. I put the baby in the car seat. We put our shoes on, and we are out the door. Since he was old enough to walk by himself, Caleb has always followed behind me on our way to the car. But for the last two weeks he has started walking ahead of me instead. The first morning he just walked a few steps ahead. Then the next day a little further. But the next day he was almost to the driveway before I even started off of our porch.
"Caleb, Slow down son, you might fall and get hurt." I yelled after him.
He obeyed, and stopped to wait for me.
But the next day he ran even further and when I asked him to stop, he exclaimed, "It's okay mommy. I'm not scared!"
This morning though, as we stepped onto the porch Caleb informed me that his shoe was untied. He sat down on the step to wait for me. So I took the baby to the car, and went back to get him.  I tied his shoe, helped him down the steps, and instinctively held his hand as we walked to the car. But Caleb, with all his might tried to pull away.
"I want to run mommy! Let me go!" He yelled.
"No, Caleb, we can't run. It's dangerous, mommy's scared that you'll fall."
"But If I fall, won't you catch me?" He asked.
After a long, long pause, and swallowing the feeling of wanting to cry..."Yes, Caleb, mommy will always catch you."

So that got me to thinking.  For the rest of Caleb's life. I am constantly gonna be asking him to slow down. He is gonna be growing and becoming more independent every single day.  Every single day he's gonna need me a little less. Every day I'm gonna wish with all my heart to stop time, to keep him my sweet boy forever.
But time will not stand still, and though he'll always love me, and I will always be his momma. There will come a day when he no longer needs me.
I'm sure even then I'll be yelling for him to SLOW DOWN!
But I'm sure, even then, he will just turn to me and say, "It's okay mom, I'm not scared, Let me go."

So I'm gonna just savor this moment while I can even if I have to do it from far behind him.
And when I hear this song, I'll always think of him.

You'll Always Be My Baby.
Sara Evans

There he is, my little man,
I'm sure he'll get in trouble every now and then.
And I pray to God, that when he does,
I'll be just as understanding as my father was.

Cause the last thing that I wanna do,
is let him down
So instead of being angry
I'm gonna throw my arms around him
And I'll say.

In the sunlight or the rain, brightest nights or darkest days
I'll always feel the same way whatever road you may be on
No your never too far gone
My love is there wherever you may be
Just remember that you will always be my baby be my baby

How Did I Get So Lucky?



My wonderful husband.

 When I was five years old, I told my dad I was gonna marry him.
"You can't marry me," He replied, "I'm already married to your mommy."
Well then, I thought, I'll just have to marry someone just like you.

And that's what I did. When I began to date, it was a mission for me. It wasn't fun and games. It was a time for me to find my life mate. I didn't date long until I found Daniel. He was it for me from the moment he kissed me. In the pouring down snow, after a highschool ball game, on my 17th birthday...He kissed me. From that moment, I never looked back.
After that moment, I decided I would go wherever he would go. I would do whatever he asked. I would submit to loveing him for the rest of my life.

A year later, Daniel asked me to marry him. (after he asked my dad first, ofcourse)
From the day we said I do, we became as one body. From that time on, we have constantly changed and adapted to life's twists and turns. I can not even see my life without him now.

We have dealt with our fair share of trials. We suffered infertility, two miscarriages, and the death of family members. It seems as though each trial only brings us closer. He has become not just my husband, but he is my friend. He never ceases to amaze me. He never stops working to make our family better, more stable, or happier. He is the most wonderful loving father to our children. Sometimes all I can say is, "How did I get so lucky?" It could have only been the work of God himself.

This was the song that played at our Wedding. It was true then, and it is true now. God willing, it will be true 50 years from now.

Keeper Of the Stars....

It was no accident, me finding you.
Someone had a hand in it, long before we ever knew.
Now I just can't believe, you're in my life,
Heaven's smiling down on my
As I look at you tonight.

I tip my hat, to the keeper of the stars.
God sure knew what he was doing.
When he joined these two hearts.
And I hold everything, when I hold you in my arms
And I've got all I'll ever need,
Thanks to the keeper of the Stars.

This Song's For you Daddy

This Picture reminds me so much of my dad.
They both look just like him here.

 So tomorrow is my Daddy's birthday.  This year also marks the second year of his death. I have to say though, that I find it harder and harder each day to be sad when I think about him.  Maybe I have become numb to the fact that he's gone...OR maybe the good memories of him are too great to be sad for the time we shared. I see him in my children each and every day, and I know somehow he sees them even now. And even now, he's so very proud of the people they will someday grow up to be.
  Caleb, my oldest, was only 1 year old when he died. I find myself wishing that he could remember my dad so that we could share our love for him. I do know, that God had it planned this way, even though I don't understand it.
  I feel that a certain part of me could not exist until I experienced the loss of my dad. For some reason, even though it sounds strange, I feel as though I am now a better wife, mother, daughter, friend.  Until that time, I had never truly experienced loss. And that loss triggered this growth in me somehow. It caused me to stop and look around. I became more sensitive to my surroundings, and I began to cherish just how precious life was. 
  So now, standing on the other side, I can see a path that can only lead to me being who i was always meant to be. So it seems hard to feel sorry that my dad in the very end, was able to help teach me one last lesson, and to help me let him go so that I could be a better mom to my own little family. 
  I will see him someday soon, I'm sure. But until then It's not goodbye, only farewell.

This Song's for you Daddy...

The Landslide 
By Fleetwood Mac

I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain then I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
But the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky "What is love?"
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I Sale through the changing ocean's tide?
Can I handle the season's of my life?
I don't know.

Well, I've been afraid of changing
Cause I've built my life around you,
But time makes you bolder,
Children Get older
I'm getting older too.

I'm getting older too.

Happy Birthday Daddy. Birthdays in heaven must be pretty cool.

And That's Who I AM!

My beautiful Daughter

So, I wanted to try my hand at this whole blog thing. It seemed like a no brainer, since I am usually such a talker. I named my blog after a John Mayer Song, "The Home Life". It sort of sums me up. It's who I am, a wife, a mother, a daughter, and a friend. I'm just a simple, country girl with everyday challenges. Sometimes my husband drives me crazy. Sometimes my kids make me wanna have a nervous breakdown. Sometimes I just wanna be a free individual, no strings attached. Then I think, This is who I am. This is what I was destined for. A home life.  This is my life as it relates to music. And here are the Lyrics to the song that defines me.

My husband and Son

Home Life.

Think I'm gonna stay home
Have myself a homelife
Sittin' in the slow-mo
And listenin' to the daylight
I am not a nomad
I am not a rocket man
I was born a house cat
By the SLIGHT of my mother's hand
Think I'm gonna stay home

I want to live in the center of a circle
I want to live on the side of a square
I used to be in my ?? SCENE
You'll never find me 'cause my name isn't there
Homelife
I'm holding out for the homelife
My homelife

I wanna see the ending
I wanna learn a last name
Finish on a Friday
And sit in traffic on the highway
See I refuse to believe
That my life's gonna be
Just some string of incompletes
Never to lead me to anything remotely close to a homelife
I'm holding out for A homelife
My homelife

I can tell you this MUCH, I will marry just once
And if it doesn't work out, I'll give her half of my stuff
It's fine with me
We said eternity
I will go to my grave, with the LOVE that I gave
Not just a melody line on a radio wave
It dissipates
And soon evaporates
Homelife doesn't change

I want to live in the center of a circle
I want to live on the side of a square
I'd love to WALK TO WHERE we both can talk
But I've got to leave it 'cause my ride is here
And my homelife
You take a homelife
You keep a homelife
Come back for the homelife I promise
Homelife I promise
Life
Homelife
Homelife